Who Taught You How to Make an Introduction?
One of the great things about having kids is being reminded that everyone has to learn things for the first time.
My dad taught me early on when I was a boy how to properly meet an adult for the first time. When introduced, look the person in the eye and maintain eye contact when you speak. Stick out your hand and make a firm handshake. Basic blocking and tackling.
Somehow, somewhere the art of the introduction has been lost. Please allow me to vent here…
In the era of connect me now, people are running amok shooting out LinkedIn “Join My Networks” from their smartphones like tweets. Introductions today seem to be made not for the benefit of the recipients but more for the benefit of the sender. Who enjoys being on the wrong side of an introduction that you don’t want to take?
Let’s collectively reset how we all conduct future intros properly. It’s not rocket science:
- Ask each person that you want to introduce, “Do you want to be introduced?” (never assume that each side wants to talk with each other)
- If both say yes, then introduce by email (short and sweet)
- Get out of the way
Please do not:
- Introduce someone blindly to that person you want them to meet (one party’s approval is not enough)
- Send LinkedIn invitations to people you have never met (this opens the recipient up to another entire network of people who they don’t know wanting to blindly connect)
- Be slow to respond to the person to which you asked to be introduced (respect the fact that someone took time out of their day to introduce you to their network, thank them, and follow up to tell the results even if nothing comes out of it)
Side note: I am not writing about how to best introduce yourself directly. I have no problem with people reaching out to others directly, just know people will probably not respond. (Some people get all hung up on people who directly introduce themselves and insist they get an introduction from someone they know. Although I understand the premise, that is way too stuffy for me and takes the hustle out of life. I give hustle high marks).
Introductions are strong currency in relationships. As the saying goes, one can never take back a first impression – might as well get it right the first time.
As I did in your repost on the USV site (and not to be spammy, as I get no benefit out of the cross-posting), I might point you here:
https://www.facebook.com/notes/product-development-insights/applying-product-development-principles-to-business-introductions/349564095079731
Which I put together a year ago to counteract the issues you raised above (and we are aligned, to be clear.)
As I mentioned elsewhere, I am happy to receive feedback on improving the format.
I have made over 200 intros in the past two years using the format, and 90% of them are met with a “yes.”
Additionally, I have had five people respond that the wouldn’t use the format, out of 80 people total, because they didn’t like being told what to do or couldn’t be bothered.
I understand that position as well, but I had to decline making the intro as a result.
Great post, regards, Ty
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